So today’s been a day where I have struggled to get through with a good attitude and a smile on my face. It’s not because things aren’t going well for me, because they are. I just believe that this is another “stretching” time for me.
As I look back over my life to see where the Lord has brought me from, I think…how on earth have I made it this far, with so much that I’ve had to overcome? On the other hand, I look to the future from where I am and it’s somewhat daunting to think; how am I going to get to that place that I see in my mind’s eye…the dreams and desires of my heart that God has placed within me? Of course, deep within me, I know that I know that it’s the Lord who has brought me this far and it will be Him who takes me on to that next place. One day at a time…one day at a time. J
You see, a month or so ago, the Lord let me know in His own way of speaking to me that He was taking me to a new level with Him, but that it would be a time of emotional ups and downs. Well, so far, what I believed He spoke to me has proven to be true.
A few weeks ago I was evaluated and accepted on a worship team that is incredible! I cannot even explain the joy that sprang up within me when we visited this church for the first time…let alone being accepted on the worship team! It is home! For the first time our entire family finds this place of worship to be our home. Just when I had truly lost hope that there existed a church family like this in NWA…poof…the Lord led us directly to it…in His perfect timing! PTL!! For any of you who know what I’ve been through the past 20 years, you understand what a breakthrough this is not only for me, but my family as well. We’ve been on a search for a church home for quite some time. I am ecstatic about it!
But, along with this wonderful promotion, if you will, there have been emotional ups and downs. When the Lord first spoke this to me, I set my mind to overcome these ups and downs as quickly and gracefully as possible. I set my mind to make the right decisions when in those emotional times. And, when I am too weak to carry out those decisions for myself, I trust the Lord for His strength and grace to carry me through…and so far, thank the Lord, I have been able to overcome. But, it hasn’t been the easiest goal to stick to! Just sayin’ !!
Today, my mind has been bombarded with thoughts that, if I had given into them, it would have been easy for me to set all dreams aside and simply walk away. I have caught myself wanting to speak negative things out loud numerous times…and if I had a replay back of my day, I probably did a few times. I really cannot remember. But, what I do remember is catching myself thinking negative thoughts, opening my mouth and then speaking…”God, I am who You say I am.” “If God is for me, who can be against.” You see, what we speak about ourselves…or others…is what will, given time and repetition, come to pass.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21
Even though it’s been a challenging day, in the whole scheme of things, it’s been a very good day. This stretching that’s going on is causing me to draw even closer to the Lord. It’s causing me to go to a deeper level of trust with Him. Just knowing that in and of myself, I am completely unable to do what I believe He has called me to do causes me to trust and believe in Him more and more. It’s times like these that the Lord tests us…stretches us…so that our faith and trust in Him grows deeper and stronger. I’ve come to recognize, accept and appreciate these times.
So when the laughs of those who I foolishly shared my heart with come back to “haunt” me, or the “haunts” of harsh words spoken to me or harsh treatment I’ve experienced over the past 20 years growing in my calling, I know it doesn’t matter what they think of me. It only matters what God thinks of me. I pray for those who have hurt me in those moments. I ask God to bless them above and beyond what they believe God has for them…and I mean it! They’re not just shallow words!
You see, death and life truly is in the power of the tongue, whether they are things spoken to us or things that we speak to others. If we cannot encourage one another in our endeavors in life, then we should not speak out anything negative to someone else or ourselves. That behavior is so very hurtful! And trust me, I’ve experienced plenty of it whether it’s been from family, friends or Christian leadership! You don’t want to be a dream killer, do you? I don’t believe I know anyone who wakes up in the morning and says, “I believe I’m going to kill so and so’s dream today!” But even so, it still happens. A few years ago someone told me that they could tell just by looking at someone that that person would never amount to anything. I was shocked to silence by that statement. Oh how grateful I am that God doesn’t look at our appearance, but rather, He looks at our heart!
Stretching and growing can be an emotional and painful thing to go through. But our trust and belief in God will be strengthened and deepened through this process. Remember, He sees your heart and what you can become in Christ. Speak out the word of God to overcome the lies of the enemy, whether those words are what you hear in your mind…or lies of the enemy spoken through other people. You are who God says you are…and if He is for you, who can be against?!?
Stretching, Growing, Trusting, Believing and Speaking!!
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